Bathroom Humor

I admit it: I love Craigslist. I love the total randomness of it. I don't like garage sales because everyone stares at you as you pull up. You feel obligated to buy. But not on Craigslist. Total anonymity. Everything you want and must have. Where else can you get a homemade scratchy video tape of the 1985 TV show Double Trouble? Or the highly collectible Far West Federal Savings and Loan key faub?

Today's find (you can't make this stuff up if you tried):
NEW - Toilet - Model Gerber Works perfect. (Longview WA)
Reply to: sale-652031746@craigslist.orgDate: 2008-04-22, 11:09AM PDTI have a next to new Toilet, it's been installed into a new remodel but has been replaced by the owner of a different type. No toilet seat. WORKS PERFECT. Just call and haul it away. Call George 360-270-XXXX

There are a number of things that are just wrong about this:

1. Title claims it is a NEW toilet, but the post says 'next to new'. I don't know about you, but the moment a toilet is used ONCE, it is no longer new. But it doesn't say used once, it just says 'next to new' (NTN). If it was ten times, is it still NTN? How about twenty times? What if it is five sittings, fourteen standings, and one hurling? There must be a government ruling somewhere.
2. 'Replaced by the owner of a different type'. Huh? What 'type' was the previous owner? Are we talking race, sex, maybe some weird belief system? Seems odd that different 'types' of owners need different toilets.
3. 'No toilet seat. WORKS PERFECT'. For who? If your a guy and you always forget to put the seat down, yeah, it's perfect. But for the other half of the population, or for those non-standing times, it ain't so perfect. I believe they make toilets without the seat; they are called urinals!

I might be nuts, but I think it might be George that needs to be hauled away!