Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Sad Beyond Comprehension

Today is easily the most profoundly sad day in my life. Nothing is even a close second. While I can't blog in detail about it yet, it involves a loss so great it grieves me to my core. At times I can barely hold a steady thought, and I have few tears left. Heaviness in my heart does not begin to paint the picture.

I sat in the church parking lot, not sure if I could make it through worship this evening. But God reminded me that 'yet I was to praise Him" As the Psalmist wrote in Psalm 42
5 Why are you sad, O my soul? Why have you become troubled within me? Hope in God, for I will praise Him again for His help of being near me. 6 O my God, my soul is troubled within me. So I remember You from the land of the Jordan and the tops of Hermon, from Mount Mizar. 7 Sea calls to sea at the sound of Your waterfalls. All Your waves have rolled over me. 8 The Lord will send His loving-kindness in the day. And His song will be with me in the night, a prayer to the God of my life.

So despite my emotions, despite the chaos that is running circles in my mind, I will trust in the Lord and continue to praise Him. And I acknowledge, that despite what is happening in front of my eyes, God is still in control and has a plan. Tonight PT talked about the struggles in life and the sovereignty of God. So once again, I give up to Him.....yet sadness is still my visitor. And He understands and weeps with me.

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